Clashing household

When I was pregnant with L we read all sorts of parenting book, now I don't remember much from them as I go by what I feel is right for me and L.

My husband and I had numerous discussions about L, her joining our family, us living in a happy house with quiet neighbours and most importantly our common goal-same parenting methods.

To me it was obvious that we need to have the same opinion on things, the same parenting method until L arrived..

As a stay at home mum I'm mostly responsible for L's well-being, if she is happy, changed, fed, slept etc. In the last 19 months I've learned that L is happy in my arms, sometimes with her dummy in mouth (normally dummy free until 5pm) she is happy to play on her own if I'm sitting next to her or she is in the same room when taking a shower, if I allow her to feel free and do whatever she wants in the house ( to a degree of course) purely because that gives me time to scroll social media timelines, eat, go to toilet, have a shower and not to hear her cry because I'm not there. I'm used to doing it now as it's a headache free method which keeps L happy and close to me.

When my husband is home parenting style and L changes, she becomes more whinny, she wants more attention and most importantly she is more restricted because her daddy wouldn't allow her to "run riot and create havoc" in the house.

His parenting method is stricter, he will see the problem in most of the things L does from opening the draws and taking everything out to crawling under my chair and taking my phone, "if we allow her to do whatever she wants L will manipulate you later in her childhood". 

I have to agree she needs to know what "NO" means but I see no reason why L should be restricted in discovering things, she is only a toddler. Is she manipulating me already? Will I follow my mum's strict method of raising me if I be cross with L? So many things go through my head, but how do we find the ultimate parenting method that works for us all?!