It seems like it was ages ago since my last weight update, I just didn't feel right, felt down most of the time but the only thing that kept me going was my exercise routine and treadmill.
In fact when I was running on my treadmill whilst listening to music made me feel slightly happy and complete, this is where I have tried to release all my negative thoughts and stress, that's what I needed at that time.
Even being very upset and not myself didn't mean that I would start binge eating again, I wanted to come out better from my rough patch, I wanted to carry on doing what makes me feel good and proud of myself. It seems very weird how you can turn stress into a positive thing, but I did it!
I'm still eating clean, introducing more veg into my diet and cutting out bread, pasta, cous cous, sweets, fizzy drink and processed meats. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself or my body form things, eating healthier only helps me to achieve my goals and oh boy I want to be stronger and fitter!
Few weeks ago I came across one of the training programms by following which you are meant to lose weight and to gain lean muscle. I don't normally invest into something I'm not sure of but seeing before and after pictures make me wonder what if it's me, believe it or not- I have never seen my body without fat!!
So I have bought Phase 1 and have started following exercise routine with some alterations i.e. cutting on rest days and adding running on a treadmill when I can. I can see results on the mirror, I can see my weight going down slowly but it's hard to say what pushes this diet or exercising, I assume a combination of both.
Today I am not really happy about my results, it feels like I constantly have a battle with myself, one minute I like what I see, but because I am much thinner in my head than in real life it feels much harder to accept that real results are very slow. Whilst exercising I decided "to admire" my body one more time as I stripped to bra and leggings and was shocked how much sagginess my tummy has, this is something I didn't expect to see and it made me think that I need to push myself even harder. But saying and doing are 2 different things, all I can do is try!