L's progress at the nursery

L has been attending nursery for 2 months now, seems not long but it does feel like it's been a long time ago. We had ups and downs,  I had my concerns but I think now I finally realised that it is the best place to be for L.

If you may recall I have been in few nurseries prior to picking the one and only and some of them were a definite "no-no" where as others had room for improvement but not enough for me to go with them. When L started nursery I expected everything to go smoothly, knowing that she is such an outgoing kid she would blend it straightaway, but I didn't realise that leaving her there would be upsetting.

I remember the first weeks weeks being a bit of hell, I was calling nursery to check on L and they would call me straight after lunch saying that she is not well, not eating, sleeping or just nor being herself. I could never imagine how many bugs you can pick up form nursery, even now 2 months later and numerous viral infections, cold, under the weather days, L still has runny nose every so often.

My husband didn't really take part in "selection process" hence he has lots of doubts and cannot wait to express them at parents evening. He doesn't like the price,  he doesn't like that every week nursery tend to lose our things, he doesn't like that L is ill all the time, there are so many arguments against this place that sometimes I just have to shut my ears and it only makes me doubt  if I made the right choice.

I do know it is the best place for L, she is fed, looked after, sleeps, finally did her first wee in the potty there yesterday, she is happy! During the first few weeks I saw tears every time I dropped off and picked up L from nursery where as now she goes a little quiet or would go to see her new friends and will be jumping around not noticing me when I'm there to pick her up.

Of course I am too concerned about her constant colds, missing things, potty training issues but seeing L smile there and being able to eat someone else's food with and without help is a great achievement for a fussy eater.

It would be nice of course if nursery had a proper log of what L has learned throughout the day, and other things she was up to but I think I will keep this one till parents evening. 

Settling in session at nursery and mummy's worries

Last week my darling L had her 2 free settling in sessions with each session lasting 2.5 hours. During the first session I have been completing paperwork and registering in Tapestry- online system whilst L and her new friends were bringing me all the toys to play with.

I had all sorts of emotions during these hours, at first it felt awkward, I was doubting my own decision, then it got more relaxed, deputy manager answered all my questions which made me feel better about the place and our routine, I saw L interacting with kids and it felt good, it felt right. 

The next session was so much different, I was encouraged to leave L to see how she gets on without me, cutting long story short it didn't go well. Whilst it was only 2.5 hours I was constantly checking the phone thinking about L wanting to pick her up and to know how it went. Pick up wasn't easy, the moment she saw me L started crying hysterically and only calmed down when we were behind the door with a new toy as a treat. 

From that day onwards I started to think over and over again if I'm making the right decision, if L will ever settle, if she is happy there, if they do everything they can. It feels as if I'm trying to pick on things not to like the place, that everything since the day we went to nursery things don't go to plan. I see how L changed, she is no longer relaxed, sociable, outgoing toddler, she knows what's about to happen and will refuse to get into pushchair to go to nursery or let go of me. 
Her first proper session didn't go well either, during/after her second settling in session she managed to pick up cold and suffered with sniffles and high temperature all weekend and Monday morning. I did take her to the nursery when her temperature normalised, but L didn't have any food there at all and after 4 hours there, manager has called me asking to pick L up. 

I was told it will get easier, but it just gets worse, it feels worse, catching yet another bug doesn't help either.I feel so guilty for taking her there, for letting her suffer and cry, it seems so emotional for both of us. I know we can only wait and hope that it improves, wish us luck!